Paperback ´ Tell-All PDF/EPUB Ú

Paperback ´ Tell-All PDF/EPUB Ú

Tell-All ❴EPUB❵ ✸ Tell-All Author Chuck Palahniuk – For decades Hazie Coogan has tended to the outsized needs of Katherine Miss Kathie Kenton veteran of multiple marriages career comebacks and cosmetic surgeries But danger arrives with gentleman caller For decades Hazie Coogan has tended to the outsized needs of Katherine Miss Kathie Kenton veteran of multiple marriages career comebacks and cosmetic surgeries But danger arrives with gentleman caller Webster Carlton Westward III who worms his way into Miss Kathie’s heart—and boudoir Soon Hazie discovers that this bounder has already written a celebrity memoir foretelling Miss Kathie’s death in an upcoming musical extravaganza As the body count mounts Hazie must execute a plan to save Katherine Kenton for her fans and for posterity.

10 thoughts on “Tell-All

  1. Greg Greg says:

    This guy wrote a review of this book that is wrong This is not a good novel I don't even know where to start on it I imagine this conversation happening between CP and his editor CP Did you get my new novel?ED Novel? I got your short storyCP Oh you kidder Seriously what do you think?ED Chuck you can't release this as a novel It's 150 pages but the plot only takes up about 15 of those pages This is a short storyCP My fans are retards though they will think it's edgy I can do anything ED Your probably right I've got an idea why don't you namedrop another 30 pages of semi obscure golden age Hollywood stars into the text I think we can work with it thenCP Consider it done my manFor about the first 105 pages of the book there is nothing that happens that is really necessary to the plot For a good portion of the pages after that there is nothing necessary to the plot And actually the plot isn't really all that different from Diary As a short story this would have been vaguely entertaining with a pretty transparent ironic twist Which brings me to the name dropping It is pointless Somewhere along the line CP thought it would be cute to throw in excessive extraneous garbage into his books It's a weird verbal tick of sorts And it makes his books seem weirder than they really are Actually they are sort of a crutch that lets him automatically create the obsessive characters he is known for without having to do much work Which is good for him since he chugs out a book a year In Fight Club it was the I am Jacks x which was fine In Survivor it was the endless cleaning tips which were uirky and worked well in the novel but I think became the crutch at this point In Diary it was the endless cribbings from Grey's Anatomy Here it is the nonstop name dropping and putting those names in BOLD as if he were just running down a list off of Wikipedia for 1940's and 50's stars But isn't this a seething critiue of celebrity culture and our obession with the gossip rags? No Unless you are 12 and haven't realized that the whole celebrity thing is vulturistic then there is nothing really going on here If anything it is just adding even to the cult of celebrity Ironically gushing over celebrities is still gushing All of this is fine to say but really the big problem with the book is that it is BORING It is tedious and BORING BORING as in nothing really happens BORING as in I enjoyed reading the nutritional information off of the bag of pretzels I ate at lunch today than reading anything in this book BORING as in it wasn't even bad enough to warrant one star it was just this BORING BLAH MEDIOCRE thing of BLANDNESS; sort of like most of the celebrities out there today

  2. Edward Lorn Edward Lorn says:

    There was a time that I bought Chuck Palahniuk books on release day and tore through them in less than a 24 hour period I can still one shot his insanely short novels novellas by anyone else's standards but I've long since stopped rushing out to buy them What happened? Where did it all go wrong? Let's discuss shall we?Rant was a punch in the face when it first came out I will be the first to admit that I didn't understand it because I was young and dumb I think the format threw me I've never been a fan of books written in the style of interviews Anyway I just didn't get the book But that's my bad I have since reread Rant and found it to be among the best of Palahniuk's output I was hoping for the same magic again which is why we're here But first a little historyNext was Snuff a little streamlined and understandable than Rant but not very good Still I was hoping for an upswing with the next book Every author has their bad period no one knows this better than a Stephen King fan and I imagined the next book would be Palahniuk back to his stellar ways Oh what a hopeful summer child was IIf Rant was a punch to the face the next book to touchdown Pygmy was a nuclear bomb up the ol' Hershey Highway I remember opening that yellow binded bastard and reading the first paragraph and blinking uncontrollably I flipped through the book reading the beginnings of every chapter something I don't think I've ever done nor have I done since trying to see if the entire book was actually written in such a confusing style After a while I dropped into a rhythm and managed to finish the book but again it just wasn't any good What was I missing? Mind you this was before I joined Goodreads therefore I had no idea I was in the vast majority when it came to raging over PygmyAnd then Tell All came out a 179 page novel that I paid full price for in hardcover I can't remember how much but I know it was easily over twenty bucks For 179 pages Surely this book would be the succinct miracle return of one of my favorite authors I finished the book in two sittings Not because it was good but because the font was huge and there's gibberish than there is story meaning the novel is padded with italic bullshit of the cluck whinny bark variety Add to that all the name dropping which is admittedly true to character but annoying as fuck If you're going to read this everything in bold can be skipped It's actors names and conditions and products Maybe some of the names dropped are funny given context but often than not they are superfluous When reading a 179 page novel one should not feel the need to skip text but good on the author for putting that shit in bold and making it easier to pass overThe first time I read this the twist aggravated me because I saw it coming at the midway point It's so goddamn forgettable that I couldn't remember what happened at the end I didn't mind the twist so much this time around but something else annoyed me in its place I've never known Chuck Palaniuk to hold a reader's hand I think that's one of the reasons I loved Rant so much the second time around Palahniuk hid the twist so damn well and never comes right out to tell the reader what they might have missed Here in Tell All Palahniuk spends a considerable amount of time assuming you the reader are denser than a bucket of cement He spells out every little detail making sure you see how clever he was thoroughly destroying any sense of accomplishment the reader might have felt by figuring it out on their own Stephen King once said Description should start in the author's mind and end in the reader's I like that uote Maybe I should email it to Chucky boyIn summation This wasn't near as bad as my first experience with this book but it was still a hard pill to swallow I would say that later Palaniuk deserves a reread especially if you loathed these books the first time Had I been a member of GR back when this came out it would have easily garnered a one star from me Not much better than now but there was a little improvement I plan to reread all of the ones I hated simply because Rant was so much better the second time around This one proved not to be so bad but I think that's because I'm not reading it directly after Pygmy because this novel surely is no return to form for my one time heroFinal Judgment Better than the first time reading but that's not saying much

  3. Kemper Kemper says:

    Say what you will about Chuck Palahniuk no one can claim that he’s scared of experimenting with different ways to tell a storyIn Rant we got multiple character viewpoints as though they were reminiscences for a documentary Haunted had a variety of characters telling fictional sort stories Pygmy was written completely in the mutated broken English of the main character And now in Tell All Palahniuk is again playing with how the story is told It’s like a hybrid between a screenplay and a gossip column with the narrator describing fade ins and flashbacks while littered with bold faced celebrity name droppingSet in 1940s 60s Hollywood Hazie Coogan is the assistantsecretarymaidcook to aging movie star Katherine Kenton Hazie thinks of Katherine as her life’s work but she has to be on guard against Katherine’s tendency to collect unsuitable husbands The latest candidate is young and handsome Webster Carlton Westward III When Katherine falls for him Hazie is pushed to the background and she worries that Westward is just courting Katherine so that he can release a tell all biography after her deathWhile Palahniuk has been playing with structure he still sticks to a lot of his old themes Here we get another harsh indictment of celebrity culture and the ways people will degrade themselves for fame He still likes to pepper the main story with a series of flashbacks that eventually become plot twistsShort but a lot better than the horrible Snuff this one is a decent read but doesn’t rank up there with my favorite Chuck P books My favorite parts are the hilarious twisted versions of Lillian Hellman screenplays that feature her as single handedly winning World War II inventing the atomic bomb and saving the space program

  4. Jacob Jacob says:

    March 2010 before What's this? A fictional biography of a real life celebrity Lillian Hellman reimagining her as a larger than lifelegendary character? And it's by Chuck Palahniuk? And it's the length of an average novel? Oh my What could go wrong?Oh hell I think I just jinxed it May 2010 after But wait It’s really just a tired by the numbers Palahniuk novel starring a bunch of tired by the numbers Stock Palahniuk Characters and lazily disguised as The Ultimate Hollywood Novel By Chuck Palahniuk? And it’s by Chuck Palahniuk? And it’s really just a bloated short story padded out to barely acceptable novel length thanks to the same tired jokes and gimmicks repeated a hundred times throughout? Oh my Did anything go right?Yeah I don’t think you can blame me for this one

  5. Peter Derk Peter Derk says:

    Okay not my favorite Chuck Palahniuk book I'm a pretty big fan read ALL of his books and have seen him speak twice which is a blast if you ever get the chanceLike always he delivers in terms of a uick read some social commentary and a little bit of humor thrown in the mix see anything attributed to Walter Winchell in this bookThat said the story is so so The book really hits its stride about a hundred pages in which is over halfway If you're going to read this book here are some things that might help you enjoy it 1 Feel free to completey ignore anything in boldface These will be brand names and names of celebrities Chuck Palahniuk does this sort of thing in books for example the inclusion of esoteric medical terms in Choke to slow readers down and make them pay attention to what's going on So don't get caught up in the names is all I'm saying don't let that ruin it for you the way it seems to for so many others Take the boldface as a sign saying You do not need to remember this person2 Accept that this is not Fight Club Everybody wants Chuck Palahniuk to rewrite Fight Club Say what you will about his use of forumla but Palahniuk is a writer who is constantly trying new things sometimes with great success for example in the much underrated Rant and sometimes with less success But if you love Fight Club for its testosterone snappy angry youth one liners or ready for the screen action look to another book3 A book being short does not mean that you are being ripped off His books tend to be short faster reads I like that I don't see this as a laziness on the author's part or a disadvantage He is a rabid revisionist and edits each line over and over rather than stuffing a book with crapHis last couple of books haven't been my favorite but the amount of work that goes into them is evident and appreciated

  6. Mark Mark says:

    This book only has 179 pages and yet i see that 13 of my magnetic clips thank you waterstones cling to self evidently 13 of the pages They normally serve to mark things that I find particularly insightful or dates and details to remember but in this case they mark to a large extent places in this short book in which i have gasped in a none too controlled way over something particularly outrageous but funnyDo not fear gentle reader I have no intention of uoting them all but they do point out to me the fact that this is a book litteredgraced with great one liners and then its fair share of clever paragraphs It is a reflection on celebrity fame and talent or lack of and centres around a Hollywood star Katherine Kenton and her maid of all works and general dogsbody Hazie Coogan as they strain and struggle to maintain her postion as a star which is if not rising at least still glowing She has made famous such ground breaking roles as Mrs Caesar Augustus Mrs Leonardo da Vinci Mrs Pope Innocent VI Mrs Gunga Din Mrs Hunchback of Notre Dame Mrs Man in the Iron Mask and my particular favourite Mrs Last of the Mohicans but is now moving into the roles such as mother of Captain Ahab or maiden aunt to John the Baptist She has waded her way through a goodly number of husbands and has a tendency to launch herself at any prospective mound of flesh in which a pulse and a willy coincide Hazie protects her from herself by pointing out'erections are less likely a compliment than they are the result of some medical breakthrough'Suddenly on the horizon appears the handsome fit and oxymoronically innocently predatory Webster Carlton Westward III who seeks to endear himself into her affections and bed but Hazie is mightily suspicious of his intentions and so the scene is set for her uncovering of his plot to write a kiss and tell biography which would be bad enough except each draft which she uncovers hidden in his luggage under his pantswhich are needed to contain his regularly praised magnificently enormous manhood contains a last chapter in which he records how she is going to die His plan it seems is to murder her so as to ensure his entry into the role of grieving young widow with a handy book ready typed and hot for publication This info happens within a few pages and the rest of the book is the crossing back and forth the flash backs to and fro across the troubled drug and face lifted history of a crumbling film starPalahniuk why is that man's name so difficult to remember how to spell writes a bizarre but clever reflection on fame friendship and the confusion or otherwise of outward apppearances He points out how truth if we are not careful can so easily be twisted into something violently different or how by just moving or shading a few details a whole scene can be subtley but totally changed A long running image is that of the Dorian Gray like mirror in the crypt upon which Hazie grooves and marks with Katherine's serially employed diamond engagement ring the lines wrinkles and blemishes which should reside on Katherine's face but which she regularly has removed and hiddenThe blind traipsing after celebrity fad and fancy is dissected'If Miss Kathie chose to wear a coat of red ermine or a hat trimmed in pelican feathers no ermine or seabird was safe One photo of her arriving at an awards dinner or premiers was enough to put most most animals onto the endangered species list'And linked to that is the emptiness of awards and half hearted professional pats on back when he points out the horror of'every compliment you've ever received made manifest etched into metal or stone and filling your home'or even dismissively'earning applause not for any performance but for simply not dying'The most clever and insighful thought though is the one towards the end of the whole melee'These tawdry soft sordid fictions would petrify and fossilize to become diamond hard carved stone facts for all perpetuity A salacious lie will always trump a noble truth'The book is mightily humourous but has a serious point in amidst its jokes and vicious slices of wit What constitutes truth and how can it be protected and preserved ?

  7. Imogen Imogen says:

    Sigh Oh Chuck You're just convinced that you've found the magic formula and you can churn out a book every year or two indefinitely aren't you? I mean this isn't as bad as Pygmy or even Snuff but it's on the same level as them Ugh First it is barely a book; if we acknowledge that every new chapter has half a blank page to mark it this is like a 150 page book Second why is the repetetive verbal tick in this book they are in all of your books Chuck some random three animal noise blurt followed by a celebrity's name? That's stupid Third this was your chance Chuck As the gay dude who represents straight dude masculinity in his books and the one who I think still sells well enough that maybe you keep churning 'em out in an effort to keep the publishing industry afloat? writing about a woman from another woman's point of view in the style of the gossip column that famous old timey domain of ladies and gay men you could have really made a point Any fucking point Something about camp and old timey Hollywood glamour or something about ueeniness or I don't know anything But in every one of your last few books I totally root for you to do something smart and awesome because you did in Rant which still fucking stands up I read the synopsis on Wikipedia and get totally pumped and then you don't really do anythingBummer Chuck Bummer

  8. Misha Misha says:

    I found Tell All to be a fine return to form for Palahniuk Being Palahniuk the book is of course gimmicky He is Palahniuk and gimmicky pastiche is the literary niche he's come to fill But Tell All is gimmicky with heart soul and humanity – something I've found lacking in his previous two novels Snuff and Pygmy I recall commenting to a friend that Snuff read like it had been written during a weekend long cocaine binge while Palahniuk seemed to have blown his wad on the pidgin patois in Pygmy but I felt the patois detracted from the work rather than adding to itIn Tell All there are a couple of voice gimmicks at work First the boldface for names which evokes the kind of typeface used in gossip columns Second the animal noises which are intended to denote how shallow and meaningless conversation is among the two dimensional people populating Katherine Kenton's world The former worked well and melded into the text uickly The latter was obtrusive and perhaps repeated a bit too often I'd venture that most of Palahniuk's readers are smart people and don't need to be hit over the head with the metaphor He can be a bit heavy handed our ChuckStylistic gimmicks aside Palahniuk is doing some really interesting things in this book On the surface it's a commentary on old Hollywood but it just as easily could be read as commentary on the celebrity obsessed vampiric TMZ culture we're all soaking in today where no one with even the smallest iota of fame escapes the lenses of the paparazzi or the acid tongued snark of the bloggers who have replaced the Walter Winchells and Hedda Hoppers of old In some ways I think the books is nostalgic for the days when film stars were surrounded by a certain glamour and mystiue with the truth never being fully revealed until after their deaths I'd argue movies held magic in the days when we didn't know the intimate details of Angelina Jolie's ovulation cycle or when Megan Fox gets a bikini waxWhile the book certainly is a black comedy it's also elegaic and rather ethereal at least in the first half There's a strong element of tragedy in the life of Katherine Kenton a beautiful sadness in the cobwebs and the Dorian Gray style mirror where narrator Hazie Coogan preserves the march of time on Kenton's face – ravages no other human will ever be allowed to see The second half drifts into a very dark form of slapstick with Kenton trying to dodge the increasingly ridiculous attempts on her life by her lover The shifting tone of the book mirrors the change in Kenton's own life as she morphs from ghostly has been to a woman re energized by the fear of death The narrative itself is energized along with Kenton in the latter half Definitely some smart writing going on hereBut perhaps the smartest writing lies in the layer of the book that's a sharp satire on the way humans metaphorically cannibalize each other with notorious fabulist Lillian Hellman as the cannibal in chief This thread works as an interesting piece of metanarrative as Palahniuk does to Hellman that which Hellman is accused of doing by the characters in the book The characters often pray to outlive Hellman so they never become fodder for her stories Perhaps we should all pray to outlive PalahniukWhere the book works best – and works in a way Snuff and Pygmy didn't – is that it made me feel something for its characters for poor doomed beautiful Katherine who so badly craved love; for homely invisible Hazie who wanted to amount to something and was willing to kill; even for the idiot Webster all root beer brown eyes and slavish devotion to his idol This ability to evoke feeling to find something gorgeous and human in the midst of vanity ugliness and decay is why I fell in love with Palahniuk why I continue to read his books In this one he doesn't disappoint

  9. Arvy Arvy says:

    I am disappointed Father Palahniuk this is trash You had me at Fight Club but this one is just depressingdisappointment #1 The plot was good But it wasn't good enough Predictable and boring Miss Kathie's shit filled Hollywood life is engagingly exxxagerated andbutso bitch I give zero fucksdisappointment #2 The Tourette Syndrome of infinite name dropping killed me Jesus I swear it felt like I was being fucked by a thousand merciless rabbits the whole motherfucking time bdsm submissive me dominant rabbits The name references were too deeply anchored to fathom An oceanful list of Wikipedia names from 1940 to 1950 Goodness my biological father was just a flippant sperm in some lousy balls that time Well A for Palahniuk's efforts of digging up a bajillion of obituaries But no most names weren't accessibledisappointment #3 The writing felt like Thelma Ritter was holding a Lomo Cam narrating live cameos while at the same time writing a letter expressing magnetic erections to her Casanova It was all wrong It was a mixture and collision of first and third person commentaries so really I don't give a flying fuck whether I get shit or notdisappointment #4 Onomatopoeia Hazie's mind is a copulating zebra and anaconda but Kathie's mind is a zoo orgy It had all sorts of annoying sounds from A to Z Kathie all weird praying barks and hisses Phony I know Father could be all peculiar and creative but I had enough of shitty narration and bold name dropping bullshit to have this tolerateddisappointment #5 Chuck Palahniuk being the author

  10. Brandon Tietz Brandon Tietz says:

    You can think of this as a vintage Hollywood version of Glamorama by Bret Easton Ellis It's a constant barrage of celebrity name dropping and in bold print no less with a slew of camera directions and editing room speak Instead of Christian Bale we get Mickey Rooney Kate Moss is replaced with women like Monroe Garbo and Joan Crawford So if you enjoyed that aspect of machine gun pop culture in Glamorama then Tell All delivers the same thing in a nostalgic grainy reelAs if to build upon the old timey setting Palahniuk crafts a traditional literary story More subtlety Less shock Don't get me wrong he's still using his same go to methods the choruses and clever ismsSomeone who was your husband a was band love itWhat he's not doing is going for the throat as seen in the Guts short story and Snuff I don't feel like the guy is trying to one up himself any in regards to how far he can push the envelope Tell All could very well be his most mature work yet I say mature not because we're lacking all things grotesue and filthy but the use of subtlety regarding the theme of perceptions when applied to these characters If Fight Club is about hitting bottom Tell All would be its inverse a story of ascent and how important the opinions of those surrounding us matterThe drawback as far as I can see is Tell All isn't going to be for everybody I'm 27 so I only recognized about 15% of the names Personally this didn't take away from the story but the younger demographics might feel differently The celeb aspect is either going to come off as exclusive or well researched depending on the reader And even though the novel is well crafted and beautifully written it's a tad on the short side at only 179 pagesAfter reading it it's clear to me that Palahniuk is still experimenting still trying new things regarding style structure and format and it was a breath of fresh air with this one So don't expect another Fight Club or Choke and don't expect it to be Glamorama exactly either You're going to see some parallels but Tell All takes a traditional turn with the writing It's a different kind of Palahniukso different that you may just be shocked The guy can really lay down the beautiful prose when he wants toStill funnyStill cleverJust different Altogether an enjoyable read Much thanks to The Cult for throwing one my way and I hope you guys like the new direction he takes with this one Brandon Tietz

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